And another month goes by.....

I am finally on a new computer. My other one was practically useless, went sooooo slow. This new one came today, like an early Christmas present to me! Bad news is, it has Vista on it. But I guess I will get used to it.

Sad note, my biological dad died Saturday. I had not seen him in 12 years or so. He was pretty abusive, mostly emotional, and once I had the boys, I had a hard time going around him. The last time I saw him, Logan and Dylan were almost 2 years old, and we stopped by because I saw him outside. Needless to say, he went off in one of his tirades (mostly about my mom and Pop), and I had to just leave. No way I was going to have my children subjected to any of that. It was bad enough I had to hear it. Several issues with his dying.....first off, no one called to tell us. My sister in law had a friend who saw it in the paper, and she called me Sunday morning. Sunday was a very long day. I got the obit out of Monday's paper, and to my surprise, (altho I have no idea why), I was not named at all. I haven't really processed that yet, not sure how to feel about it. I cannot imagine doing that to your child though, no matter what the relationship. Pop took me to the funeral home yesterday morning, and I was allowed to see him by myself. I put a couple of pictures of me and him together when I was a baby under his pillow. I told him I was sorry and that I forgave him as well. Kinda weird for Pop to be the one to take me to see my dad, but fitting as well. He has been a better dad all the way around anyway. I am very lucky and grateful to have him in my life.

The boys and I went back to the visitation last night. My friend Leslie and her son met us there. She knew Betty (stepmonster) and my dad too. I got to see Uncle Paul and Aunt Gay (his brother and his wife from Utah) and that was nice. I love any opportunity to show off my boys. I spoke to my youngest half brother Paul, although he seemed very uncomfortable and made no effort to introduce me to his wife or kids. I then spoke to Betty and expressed my sorrow. She said something about being sorry things didn't work out the way I wanted them to....not sure exactly what she meant by that. We all stayed home today to rest up...grief is very tiring. No one has slept well these past 2 nights. Hopefully tonight will be better.

Time Flies.....

How did I miss a whole month? Oh well.....let's see. I guess I've just been enjoying the time off from school and studying.

Pop and I went to the school for a teacher conference a couple of weeks ago. Seems Dylan has not been doing what he was supposed to in any of his classes. After this "come to Jesus" meeting tho, he has been doing better.

Kay called me a couple of weeks ago regarding a job at Columbus Clinic. I have been away for about 2 years, but have not been too happy. When I left to go to Rivertown Pediatrics, it seemed the thing to do, but I have not been allowed to do what I was hired to do since I got there. I ended up in the phone room of all places. I have enjoyed working with most of the people, but the work is not very fulfilling. I left Columbus Clinic because of the stress level, but it seems some stress is necessary in order to feel necessary. Long story short, I am going back to Columbus Clinic Tuesday. I will be working in insurance billing, and the manager is a certified medical coder, so she can help me with studying and preparing for the certification test. I am excited to be going back "home".

Respite from school

I will be taking a break from school this quarter. The only class available is Business Document Processing 101. Turns out it is a KEYBOARDING class...LOL! Like I need that! So I dropped it! I will have to test out, but I have no doubt I can type 30 wpm. It will be kind of nice not to go this time. I will start back next quarter.

More later!

One more class finished!

Ok, so I aced the final in my Human Disease class. It was open book, but I was still worried. I ended up with an 85 B for final grade. Not too shabby, I don't think. 3 more quarters and I will be done. Next quarter starts Monday, Sept 29th...I have to take "Business Document Processing", which I think is a long way to say keyboarding. I have no idea why I have to take this, as I have been typing all my life, and working on computer for at least half of my life. Oh well, Hope is paying, so I guess I will take it and be happy. More later.....I have an awful headache......

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

Here I am.....49 years old! What in the world happened? LOL!!! It is hard to believe. I had a pretty nice day tho. Me and the boys went up to my folks for a cookout and cake and ice cream. My brother and his family and my stepsister and her husband came. Miss Emily, my 7 year old niece, made me a beautiful birthday card. And the boys got me a new DVD, "1408". It is supposed to be very scary....we will probably watch it next weekend.

Also new....we got a new kitten yesterday. She is adorable, silvery grey, with grey green eyes. She is 8 weeks old and her name is Lucy. Dylan is in love. He and Logan both have wanted a pet forever, and everyone finally agreed it was a good idea. Dylan is having a little bit of trouble staying settled down, and I think a cat might help. I have seen a more tender side of him since yesterday.

Another good note....I just found out that my final in Human Disease class is going to be open book. How great is that! It's a week from Wednesday, so I should be able to study enough to do pretty well on it. More later.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Some pics from my cruise last year....finally!!!

Me and Tack...this was a very cool aquarium at the Atlantis, on Nassau.
Me....Queen for a moment!
Lighthouse near Nassau
Key West

Our cabin....very comfortable bed.
On deck, ready to head out!!!
First night at dinner, very choppy seas....
Pulling into port
Wow! What a big ship!

Key West

More Sad News

Pop called last night to tell me his sister Betty has cancer. She went to the doctor because of blood in her stool. They operated yesterday, and it has spread to her liver. Apparently there is not much that can be done for her. Pop is very sad, and I am sad for him. Too much death.........

Sad, Sad Days

I guess I am going to have to get used to death again. A couple of weeks ago, a lady I worked with at a previous job went home from work on a Friday afternoon and shot herself in the heart. She was only a couple of years older than me. She left a husband, a daughter, a grandchild......why? I do not understand. I do pray she was saved and is in heaven, out of whatever misery she was suffering. Funny how you never know what is going on with people really.

Then on Wednesday morning, I got a call from another old friend. We had not talked in a pretty good while, and somehow I knew something was wrong. She was calling to tell me that the husband of another friend had died that morning. He went to work (at the Medical Center), was walking across the parking lot and felt sick. He apparently died in the ER, from a heart attack. He had just turned 53. He was already suffering with diabetes, on dialysis, but still. He left a wife, my friend, and a 14 year old son. There were 4 of us at BCBS of GA that were pregnant at the same time. I think I delivered first, in January of 94, 7 weeks early. I think Sandy was next, then Cassandra (whose husband just died), and then Leslie. I went to the funeral home yesterday after work. It was just so sad. Cassandra was holding up pretty well, and so was Cory. It just makes you feel so helpless. I know that death is part of life, and that being in heaven with Jesus and our Father will be glorious, but it still makes me feel soooo sad.

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On a lighter note, we made it through the second week of school. Dylan stayed home one day....a little bit of stomach trouble. I think it was probably nerves. He has had a hard time finding his way around. I took a map they gave him and highlighted all his classes, along with his locker and the exit for getting to the bus. I think that will help.

Logan then broke his glasses. Thank God for Pop. He paid for a spare pair till we go to his appt next month. And Logan, bless his heart, is not fussing too bad about the frames. They are gold, but they don't look too bad. Logan is so cute, I don't think it would matter what the frames looked like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is My Sign

Made with My Cool Signs.Net

Growing up and away.....

Ok, Logan and Dylan just finished their first week of HIGH SCHOOL!!! I am feeling so many different things...I am so proud of both of them. And I love them sooo much. But this week, I have really felt them growing up and away from me. I know I shouldn't feel this way. They are supposed to grow up. I want them to grow up and be strong, confident, caring young men. But a part of me misses my babies. They have defined my life for almost 15 years, and now.....I'm not sure how to explain it.....I guess I am just realizing that pretty soon they WILL be grown. They are both almost 6 ft tall already, so it feels like being with grown men. I think back to when I was in high school, and some of the insane things I did....and I want to protect them from all of that. And I know that I really can't. They will have to go through all of that themselves. I just have to pray that between my and Pop and Grandma, we have taught them the right way. And that I haven't screwed them up too bad....

The neat thing is, they are going to my old alma mater, Hardaway High School. So, I plan to take them to football games (and no, I won't make them sit with me) because that was always fun. I haven't been able to convince them to join anything yet, but maybe they will find something that interests them besides video games. Logan is taking Music Appreciation, and has already said he is enjoying it. He said he even played a little song on the piano they had. Dylan has Health this semester, but maybe he will get something better next time.

Just pray for me....that I can let them grow up gracefully, and for them....to keep them safe.

Hope

~Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
and sings the tune
without the words
and never stops at all~

Emily Dickinson

Isn't that beautiful? I had forgotten how much I loved Emily Dickinson.

MySpaceBulletins

Research On Me

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

Take this survey

Whats your name?
Rebecca

The year you were born?
1959

How about month?
September

Where you a happy baby?
yes....I guess

Are your parents still married?
nope

What is your moms age now?
73

What is your hair color?
brown and gray

How bout your eyes?
brown

My Height is?
5'7"

And the Weight is?
nunya

THE FAVORITES.

Animal?
cat

Song?
When the Stars Go Blue by Tim McGraw

Band?
too many to name

Food?
seafood, chinese, mexican, steak & potato

Desert?
banana pudding

Ice Cream?
chocolate with extras

Time Of Day?
morning

Show?
Jon & Kate plus 8

Movie?
Legends of the Fall

Season?
Fall

Weather?
cold, grey, rainy days

Girl name?
Maryanna

Boy name?
Logan

THE OR's

Ketchup or mustard?
ketchup

Lettuce or none?
lettuce if crisp

Cabbage or asparagus?
cabbage

Chocolate or strawberry?
chocolate

Yellow or green?
yellow

Blue or red?
red

Bush or Obama?
bush

Clinton or Mccain?
clinton

Mccain or Obama?
mccain

Friendship or Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
boyfriend

Money or Love?
love

Hate or Anger?
anger

Heaven or Hell?
heaven

Christian or non-Christian?
christian

Cell phones or home phones?
cell

Texting or calling?
calling

Boys or girls as friends?
girls

Oprah or Bill Gates?
neither

Soap Operas or News?
news

Aim or MSN?
aim

Me or you?
you

Day or Night?
day

Pink or red?
pink

Pandas or polar bears?
polar bears

Hot or Cold?
cold

Warm or Freezing?
freezing

Snow or Sunshine?
snow

Clouds or Rain?
rain

Pool or River?
pool

Lake or Ocean?
ocean

THE FACTS:

Are you single or taken?
taken

Who to? or wish who?
Joe

Do you love them?
yes....with all my heart

Do you want to marry them?
yes

How long have you been together?
just a short time

Do you friends like them?
they will

Are you close as in friendship?
yes

Are you happy?
yes

Do you believe in God?
yes

Where are you right now?
my living room

Where would you like to be?
anywhere with Joe

Do you miss anyone?
yes....Joe

Do you love myspace?
sure

Do you like to eat bananas?
yes

How about steak?
yes

Is your life turning out well?
it's pretty good

Have you ever lost a best friend from death?
nope

Are your grandparents still living?
no

Are you tired?
not right now

How many windows are opened on your computer?
2

Do you have a printer hooked up?
yes

Are you using a desktop or laptop?
desktop

Is it fast?
yes

Are you a fast typer?
yes

Do you have a PS2?
no

Whats your fav video game?
I like Club Pogo on aol

Where were you on 9-11?
at work

Who are your best friends?
Kay and now Joe

Would one of them get mad if you said you didnt like their hair?
no

Whats your moms dads brothers daughters boyfriends name?
no such person

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS SURVEY!

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Just call me Grace!

Well, I have missed 2 classes this week. I fell in the parking lot on the way in Wednesday night. The sun was at that wonderful spot in the sky where you can't get away from it, and I did not see one of those metal speed bumps in the road. Needless to say, I fell all over it. I'm sure that was a sight to see. And when I sat up, it was no better. Blood was pouring from a cut on my nose, plus from inside my nose, filling my mouth too. Gross! Several people came to help, and the security guys showed up as well. Turns out, one of them knew my dad from the police dept. They called the EMT's to come check me out, and it was decided I should go to the ER. So, I got my first ride in an ambulance. No lights or siren tho. I was there for about 2 hours. No broken bones thank goodness. They xrayed my right knee because it was swelling and painful, but said it was "soft tissue damage". It is ugly, all black, blue, and green from the bruising. The fingers on my left hand are bruised and scraped with some swelling. And then of course my nose is scraped and sore. No stitches tho, but it might could have used some. I think I may end up with a scar on the bridge of my nose. But thank God, I am for the most part ok. Plus, they gave me good drugs...lol!

What happens to the time?

Wow! It is January 20, 2008, and my babies are 14 years old today! It seems like just yesterday they were teeny tiny babies. We are having a small get together with family for cake and ice cream later today. I spent all of yesterday in the bed with a headache. A migraine I guess, since light and sound made it worse, and I was a bit nauseated with movement. My dad came by with some sort of pain pills and McDonald's for all of us (he said I should eat, take the pill, and lie down, as I would be asleep quickly). He was right. I slept for about 4 hours, and was some better when I woke. I guess the headache was from being tired. It is taking awhile for me to adjust to being up and out of the house 3 evenings a week. And on the 2 latest nights, I have a hard time just going to bed when I get home. So I end up awake will past midnight. I guess I will get used to it tho. I have to.

My ex called last night to tell me his daughter was there and wanted to come by to see me and the boys. It has been a long time since I have seen her. She lived with us for about 4 years, from 12 to 16, when she ran off pregnant. She is now all grown up, 31 years old, egads! Her oldest daughter will be 13 in April, and lives with her grandmother. Lisa has a new baby girl, Elizabeth, who is 8 months old. It was great to see her and her new man Matt. I am glad her life is becoming more stable.

Guess this is it for now....I need to straighten up a bit for the birthday, and go to the store.

Back to School!

Yes, it is true. I have gone back to school. And at my age...LOL! It all started when I went on the church cruise to the Bahamas. I met a lady there who was going to Columbus Tech for Medical Coding. That is what I want to do, and have wanted to do for a very long time. Anyway, she let me know that the Hope Scholarship pays for this course. So I applied, and was accepted. I have 2 classes this quarter (I think that's the right term). English 101 and Medical Terminology. I already had to give a presentation in English, up in front of the class! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I guess there IS a difference being 48 instead of 16...LOL! I am so proud of myself for stepping out and doing this. It has been a long time since I was proud of anything. Now, if I can just stay awake for classes, and work the next day. Wish me luck, and stamina!